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Love those Canadian jerseys...
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The 2007 Year-End Awards: Our NSMT correspondent sharpens his pencil and wit to deliver the honorary barbs
[ed. usual disclaimer about not necessarily editor's view, etc. Funny stuff though.]
by BC Rugby News NSMT correspondent
posted Dec 28 2007
Let’s have some fun as the year comes to an end.
Every year at this time we have distinguished writer’s and magazines putting forth their year-end candidates in an attempt to out do each other and give us all the illusion that they speak for the vast majority of readers and watchers.
It’s too serious and it makes you want to turn the page or hit the delete button with vigor.
For instance – Time Magazine has Vladimir Putin, the former head of the KGB, as their Man of the Year. Amazing – you have to wonder if Time made a trip to the former USSR and interviewed the surviving relatives of all the people he terrorized during his time at KGB.
Britney gets a nod from some quarters too - which basically takes us from Putin’s chamber of horror to Britney’s dirty laundry saga in one gigantic leap!
It’s crazy so let’s get going as this list maybe longer than Al’s wish list. Speaking of which – if we got half the things he wished for can you imagine how much better things would be across our rugby nation. Happy New Year Al.
Here we go and in no particular order:
Men’s Player of the Year: The entire RWC Squad lead by Captain Morgan Williams – sink or swim, they all went to France together, they did their best, end of story
Survivor of the Year: Mina Wang at RC HQs – in a place that has more employees go through there than Heathrow has passengers in a day, Mina has kept our books in order these past several years despite daily 6.5 Richter Scale quakes from down the hall – Mina is not a ‘duck and cover’ type and will ultimately be in the next Canadian Survivor Series in the NWT….
Board Member of the Year: the term “man overboard” comes to mind but on close inspection there was never anyone in the boat to steer or navigate to begin with
iRB Rep of the Year: Alan Sharp stayed with this job for years during the great depression to revival era – now we’re back in the great abysis again but thank goodness for Chris LeFevre or we’d be counting popcile sticks instead of Euros
Manager of the Year: Hands down it goes to Bob McGeein and Terry McPherson – anybody who hasn’t been sent to southern Alberta to hoe the sugar-beet crop after an event like the world cup must be considered a winner – everything that could have gone wrong for them, did, and they dealt with it
Coach of the Year: Not really a hard one in a world cup year – Ric Suggitt and his Staff – despite the dismal record the reality is that we are not up there yet and they did the best with what they had
Quote of the Year: Easy – former NSWT Coach who said after a ball was dropped in practice “You couldn’t catch SARS in Hong Kong” and later “If they had wanted a miracle then they should have hired Moses” and later still “Hit them so hard they’ll never reproduce”….ouch…and finally the country dame Dolly Parton who said, "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." Now there’s one for the search committee!
Sevens Player of the Year: a no brainer on this one – Whitby’s David Moonlight whose record breaking iRB Sevens season and points ranking stands alone – honorable mention Phil Mack who will get the prestigious Custom House Global Foreign Exchange Award in late January 2008 before the team leaves for Wellington
Sevens Coach of the Year: iRB record holder and National Coaching Institute graduate Shane Thompson who works in a totally professional environment for a non-professional allowance with non-professional players and still manages to get results
Women’s Player of the Year: not enough space for this one – if all these university graduates and career women were all in one spot to train we’d be ranked first in solar system
Women’s Sevens Player of the Year: too soon to tell yet and again there are plenty of candidates – from the RC website there are six players on the NSWT XV’s list and another seven on the NSWT Sevens list for total of thirteen – from that list we should be in the final in Dubai 2009
Women’s Coach of the Year: simple Quentin Fyffe
Women’s Manager of the Year: Roxanne Butler stands alone, probably for all time
Airline of the Year: Air New Zealand & Cathay Pacific – the kiwi airlines is about to fly Graham Henry and wife out to a coaching clinic in BC free of charge and Cathay Pacific flies our Sevens Team to Hong Kong and Adelaide each season, not free but the service on Cathay makes Air Canada look like a bus ride in the Peruvian Mountains during the winter rains sitting next to a local farmer with a pig on his lap
Best Airline Question of the Year: National Sevens Director upon boarding an Air Canada Jet this December made in 1989 at Heathrow Airport after observing there were still ashtrays and no-smoking signs throughout the plane…”when can we start smoking?”
Longest Plane Trip of the Year: George, South Africa to Victoria, BC after the iRB Sevens tournament – 66 hours and 25 minutes
Relief of the Year: CEO Jeff Sauvé on finding out he would not be responsible for Graham Henry’s airline tickets which bucked out at a staggering $32,172.76 NZD
Writer of the Year: Canada’s Neil Davidson and South African JJ Harmse who writes for Rapport – one knows the game well, the other doesn’t but keeps Canada on an even keel because he asks the right questions
Sponsor of the Year: the now withdrawn Custom House Global Foreign Exchange and KooGa Ltd. Runner-up Langara Fishing Adventures
Blunder of the Year: Whoever let Custom House slide away as a sponsor – last year alone we lost nearly $75 grand in transfer fees and exchange rates from Dublin to Canada – CH used to move iRB money our way for free
Moaner of the Year: The entire England Sevens Team last season in George, South Africa after complaining all week about the hotel food – on the last night they filled their plates with food from the buffet, left it on their table and then walked out of the dining room immediately – some protest, no wonder the Empire is dead and buried
Worst Decision of the Year: the left over agents on the board who didn’t step up and let despicable decisions be made about the coach, the sponsor, the supplier and worst of all the players
Worst Form Filler-In of the Year: whoever forgot to fill in the Participation Agreement Forms for the Canada Summer Games and as a result there will be no rugby at the Games…brutal
Best War Cry of the Year: “Oh No, Konno” or is that Kono?
Best Revival of the Year: BCRU’s CEO who on hearing the news about the Summer Games immediately launched an appeal
Fastest Reaction of the Year: RC and former Canadian Rugby News author issuing a retraction upon learning second hand that the Wales Sevens Coach was identified in the IC Wales Paper and website as a prime candidate for the National job in Canada… and before the ink has dried on the hand written resumes from Paraguay and Chad
Best Kept Secret of the Year: the financial situation of the RC but now at long last an actual accountant will be hired before we drift out into Hudson Bay…no lifejackets, no oars, no sails - priceless
Worst Kept Secret of the Year: KooGa is coming back
Best Rugby Pitch in BC: Port Alberni
Best Rugby Pitch in Alberta: St. Alberts
Best Rugby Pitch in Saskatchewan: Ask Karl he knows everything just don’t get on his email list!
Best Rugby Pitch in Manitoba: the Studio pitch at the Royal Winnipeg Ballet Centre its world class and they have a photo of a former national team player in a tutu… email your answer to BC Rugby News and win an old school team jersey…
Best Pitch in Ontario: the press conference pitch from Richmond Hill
Best Pitch in Quebec: anywhere Gillian Florence’s plays
Best Pitch in the Maritimes: the one next to the runway in St. John’s which takes you out of town on a tailwind or where Rod Snow plays because there won’t be an argument
Best Interview of the Year: rugby want-a-be Robin Williams is sensational – at one point he imitates the RC board and just stands there for 10 minutes without saying a word… where does this guy get his lines?
Best Imitation of a Dictator Award: the man from Saskatchewan after a recent trip to Cuba when he came back to Canada with a beard, a cigar and an absolute belief that he was right… about everything
Best NA-4 Truck Driver of the Year: our own CEO who decided on a whim to drive the RC gear from Richmond Hill to the USA NA-4 venue in Ohio but failed to see the sign on Interstate #5 which read, “Why O Why Did I Ever Leave Ohio?” and ended up at the Peace Arch in St. Louis where he had a vision..
Best Map Reader of the Year: Again our CEO who, while seeking directions (or his vision) in East St. Louis, asked a homeless person where Canton was…the guy pointed west and our leader ended up in Oklahoma where he promptly replaced his blackberry with an updated system that had maps as an attachment
Best Holding on for Dear Life Award: CEO again – he’s got two awards already and will need a third!
Best Team of the Year: Aurora Barbarians and JBAA share this one – you think that will happen?
Best Comeback Rumor of the Year: from Kettleby, Ontario that former Sevens captain Marco Di Girolamo will Trial and make himself available for Dubai in 2009
Best Paint Job of the Year: Morgan Williams on his imported Vietcong motor scooter and helmet…things have to match in Bear Mountain you see…now he’s working on spray painting some biker boots he got from the police auction when they closed down the Hell’s Angels Headquarters in Nanaimo
Best Video of the Year: hands down Rosie and G with their rugby training video in the Yukon during a work sortie…if you thought dodging mosquitoes was hard work wait till you see this one on U-Tube (www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDoKQ3CzEic)
Best Auction of the Year: the Saanich Firefighter’s Auction just before Christmas in Victoria
Best Missed Opportunity of the Year: a Saanich Firefighter who was offered $100.00 by some female elite athletes to… well this is a family site but there was some drooling and drinking reported but not in that order
Best Non-Statement of the Year: "This may or may not be a case of applicants speaking out in what they may have felt was an informal conversation with members of the Welsh media," said Rugby Canada Communications Manager Doug Crosse. ???
Best Answer to the Animal Quiz Question: a local hunter and former CCSD player from Cumberland, BC who wrote, “If any of those bleeping animals were near my fridge I’d shoot ‘em fast ‘cause I keep my Lucky in there…and anyway they are too close to my grow-op..”
Female Rookie of the Year: Alberta’s Jen Kish… and this despite Albertans constantly telling us how good things are in the Tar Sands near Fort Mac …. Kish has no tar on her boots and maybe the missing link for an already world class back-row
Male Rookie of the Year: Probably Nate Hirayama who went to France, got injured in practice and then proceeded to purchase all the baguettes in Bordeaux instead of souvenirs and was on the road to looking like other fly halves from our past until Manager McPherson intervened
Best Whereabouts (Player) of the Year: Matt King by a landslide
Best Trade of the Year, any Year: Ed Fairhurst
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